The Beauty in the Dissonance

Can’t see the forest for the trees…

On transfiguration Sunday, it seems appropriate to mention the growing process that is this year. I’ve always been a heavy processor, so sometimes it’s hard for me to be in the moment. But these blogs help me to get my thoughts out as they come.

Just as the caterpillar might not be able to imagine what it will one day look like, sometimes in this year it’s hard to see the impact that this year is having, while still in the midst of it. It’s always easier to see how far you come when it’s all said on done, but it’s is also important to process along the way, imagine the big picture and continue to set goals, for constant improvement.

At The Gathering Place, my first week, we took the Strengths Finder Test, and my number one strength was Connectedness. It’s a pretty handy strength for a year such as this, but it can also create the sensory overload, if you don’t take the time to step back and ponder the steps along the way.

It was perfect that Transfiguration Sunday happened to be Youth Sunday this week, as the youth pastor pointed out that there is no better time to see transfiguration in its rarest form take place than in young people. I like the way he worded it, not that it’s a change, but that it’s becoming the truest best version of yourself. My addition would be that back on the butterfly analogy: The butterfly isn’t all of a sudden no longer the caterpillar, but is just a heightened version of its old self. I think any parent can attest to an understanding of this, that when they watch their kid grow up, it’s not that the child is not that baby they held in their arms, but it’s a beautiful process to watch this life take form and flourish, blossom, and grow: transfiguration.

Of course the butterfly metaphors always stir deep emotion in me, to the time I wrote a song two days before my first college roommate, and one of my best friends passed away. I wrote a song in about thirty minutes and had no idea where it had come from. The lyrics seemed to pour out of, with, mostly, a detachment of meaning at the time. All I knew of the song at the time, was the emotion it gave me at the time, an intense feeling of connectedness to something that I didn’t understand.

4 days later, after I had been playing the song during the music festival in Winfield, Kansas, I learned of Haley’s passing. Again, I had no idea at the time that this song I had written would become one that would give me comfort, until I was driving to Springfield for the memorial service, and the words started playing in my head again. “It doesn’t always make sense, unless you make it make sense. And you can’t make a difference, unless you choose, to make a difference.”

The song was Beauty in the Dissonance, and as I said before, I honestly didn’t know what I was writing at the time until I got there. It was a real “God moment” for me, when it was told to us at the service that “Haley loved butterflies.” That’s when it clicked! One of the lyrics of my song was, “It’s a tapestry, but you can’t see it from the bottom: all the butterflies that would have flown by if you hadn’t caught ‘em.” I realized then that Haley had been one of my butterflies that I had had the fortunate privilege of catching for a few year of my life, one day to let her move on.

And of course, the tapestry is also a beautiful metaphor for someone with a Connectedness strength: that we can’t always know how complete the picture of our life’s story is, until we gain perspective, or maybe we’ll never really fully know. But occasionally we get little glimpses of the transformations and transfigurations we’ve made along the way, as we become heightened and better versions of ourselves.

In case you would like to know the lyrics of the whole song, to get a better knowledge of why, as arrogant as it my sound (though I truly believe that when true inspiration comes, we should be grateful for it), this song of mine has taken many forms and fit many needs for me, the lyrics will follow. And, maybe it will mean something else for you. That is the beauty of music to me, that it can touch us in many different ways as our paths wind and change and intertwine with one another. Songs can somehow transfigure themselves to meet our needs at the time, just as I believe our relationships with God and with others have to.

Also, if you would like to listen, and this isn’t an intentional plug, the recording of the song is on iTunes and Amazon: Beauty in the Dissonance, from Jeremy’s and my album, Going Up. Enjoy!

On a journey, barely begun

On a journey, so far from done

And I will continue to strive,

But there are pieces, I don’t understand,

Pieces that demand more of me

And force me to see

That it doesn’t always make sense,

Unless you make it make sense

And you can’t make a difference,

Unless you choose, to make a difference.

So, breath in the good.

Breath out the bad.

But let it linger on your tongue, just so you’ll remember,

And you’ll do better!

It’s a tapestry, but you can’t see it from the bottom:

All the butterflies that would have flown by if you hadn’t caught ‘em.

Hope you gained something from their beauty: an experience.

No, it doesn’t always make sense,

Unless you make it make sense,

And you can’t make a difference,

Unless you choose to make a difference.

So breathe in the good.

Breathe out the bad.

But let it linger on your tongue, just so you’ll remember,

And you’ll do better…

The beauty in the dissonance, the beauty in the dissonance.

You make your life beautiful by making it yours,

Seeing open windows, rather than closed doors.

The wrong notes can make you cringe,

But you can weave around them, count them as fringe.

The beauty in the dissonance…

(It's good to remember that sometimes, the picture might not seem beautiful, because we're seeing it from the wrong side or angle. Discussions with a variety of people can help expand our knowledge, and broaden our view.)