Monday, April 29, 2013

Finding Color

Finding color.



It’s funny… my last blog post was all about being in the moment, but it’s not always easy. Sometimes we long for a place where we can’t be. My spring trip home for my friends’ wedding has been the one to make me the most homesick. As I flew into Denver over the beige desert I really pined for the green luscious rolling hills I had just left behind. But plane trips have always been good to have quiet alone time to think.

As someone who has been spoiled by vibrant reds, oranges and yellows of fall and earlier budding dogwoods and red buds in spring, coming to a wintery state where the main colors surrounding me over the majority time I've been here have been brown, white, and grey, has been a difficult transition. I’ve learned how much I thrive off color and beauty.


















But I have had little glimpses of color this year: the opportune sunsets as I walk home after a long day, casting shades of oranges, pinks, and purples through the sky and over the mountains making everything appear to be on fire. The more variant skin tones on bus rides home, darker tones that make teeth appear the most beautiful white as strangers shyly smile back at you. The little girl at TGP with her consistent bright pink outfits, with just enough sass and dance moves to match her bright wardrobe. Rainbows! Going to a church that supports equality... Clothes! Though there are still a lot of natural colors, the more urban scene have splashes of color that some would not be so bold to wear or be able to pull off. But the colors of those shoes do not overcast those bright personalities and talents. Graffiti on the sides of buildings, with all the care and time they take. Bright blue skies on cloudless days...







There are more splashes of color in this world of grey, if you’re looking. I’m ready for the summer to get here, though, to bring warmer weather and more outdoor adventures. I’m excited about things that are still coming up, but I’m also really ready to go home. Each “see you later” only gets harder instead of better with time. When I was younger, I never would have thought I’d be the type to get homesick, but now there are so many things calling me home: upcoming marriage, family, friends getting married, the beauty,  green grass and dogwood trees, music, favorite places being sold, Beaver Lake, and so many things to look forward to.

Both the Rockies and the Ozarks have very different things to offer, in landscape and activities. It’s sometimes hard to be torn, to a degree, between two so special worlds. But I can’t miss the forest for the trees. I have to expand my vision to find the colors. Look a little further off and see the way the mountains look a bluish purple under the sky from this distance. I won’t take the warmth for granted, and I so look forward to the season that brings the budding flowers, as short as it might be. I’ll go visit the mountains more, now, and I’ll miss them when I leave. I have made some great friends, ones I hope will keep in touch. I will have another wonderful place to visit and people to see.

 It’s cool though, that there are so many different places in this world, and just as large of a variety of people to fill it, to call the different parts home. The same things that might turn me off of one place, church, person, or activity might be the very aspects that attract a different person to those same things. We all have our physical “Beulah Lands,” and it’s not always where we grew up. Sometimes it takes going away and defining yourself outside of those comfort zones that really makes you appreciate that coming home. There may be other places that I call home over the course of my life, but certain ones will always have a special place in my heart. I think my favorites will always have blue skies, green hills, folk music, and wildflowers in every color.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Now what?



Now what?

That’s the question that seems to enter the minds of we 6 volunteers, now that it is less than 4 months 'til the end of our volunteer year. However, that question implies that we are not acknowledging the now that is still now, that we are still in this year, and we have 4 more months ahead of us to continue to be part of a community and discern together what this year as a whole means in our lives and world today. We can't just wait to answer now what in 4 months. What “DOOR” stands for outlines what this year is all about: Discovering Opportunities for Outreach and Reflection. That in itself implies that not only are we providing a service to others, in our little household of 6 volunteers, in our job placements, and in the community of this new city, but we receive a service from all of those around us: learning and growth. Each new person teaches us something new, and each new day brings a new nugget of a story.

What we provide for each other is a chance to cope through that and to reflect on those opportunities as they come. This is really the part of my year I’m so grateful for. I’m a deep processer, making connections to and from everything, and it’s been really nice to have dedicated time to do that out loud with my housemates, mentors, and loved ones over the phone. It’s one thing to think and feel things; it’s another to find meaning for them and put them into words. It’s still not easy.

This year has brought on so many challenges, some I was more ready for than others, and sometimes I find I have more to feel and say than I have time. Just as I can’t find the energy to start cleaning my room unless I can finish it, sometimes it’s hard to take the time to just jot down my thoughts when there are so many.

My housemates, DOOR city and assistant city directors, and I discussed this challenge of making and trusting community enough to really let each other in. In some ways we’ve passed this test already, with flying colors. In others, there is still room for growth. There is always room for more growth. We made spoken and unspoken promises to take those challenges to invite each other in. Introverts will come out of their rooms more, and extroverts will express their frustrations better. We all have come a long way, but there are still 4 more months. I’m sure it will fly by, but it can also be the most pivotal part of the whole year if we allow it to be.

So, what now? Now I’m still living in community, working at The Gathering Place 4 days a week, where I’m currently helping prepare for a big art walk in which artists from TGP community will have a display, and I’m in the process of applying for jobs. Have an interview on May 1st, cross your fingers! And, I’m getting married in a little over 5 months! Though now is not void of it’s preparation for tomorrow, we can’t lose sight of where we stand, currently.

We are reading An Alter in the World, that addressees just that. By only focusing on what you’re waiting for, you can lose sight of your present opportunities or only perform your current tasks halfway or not to your best potential. The best example of being in the present but still preparing for the future is learning: new tasks and skills or ideas. This year is a chance to be in the moment, and let all of the experiences prepare us to be the best versions of ourselves. I can feel myself starting to get it. I’m excited to live each day as a new one and meet and love each person and opportunity I can over the next 4 months. It ain’t over yet!!

Peace and blessings, and love for my housemates, who I haven’t introduced you to yet:


That's me in the front, on the left!



Behind me, on the left, Kaitlin, from Sacramento, California, is a vivacious, strong willed woman who loves to laugh and take care of others. She is, in a lot of ways, our house mom this year, often putting the needs of others before herself. She is a great listener and an awesome friend. I’ve enjoyed our bus rides to work together and a little extra one-on-one.

In the front, on the right, Emma is a sweet, often mistaken (by Antonio) for a southern belle, has accepted the challenges this year has brought on, and grown as a teacher to her students and a friend to her housemates, all while maintaining her strong connections back home. She is from Lexington, Kentucky, and it’s always fun when her accent slips out. She loves dogs upon sight. I share a room with her!

Against the wall with the wooden moose, Lauren, from Littleton, CO, can disguise herself as a wallflower, but her beauty shines out in her deep thinking and awesome laugh. She has such a mature and bright mind but youthful spirit, and this year has made that flourish, in my opinion. Whenever she sees anything with children, she lights up like she is one!

Thien, in the back, is hilarious and can easily put a smile on all of our faces just by being himself. He also is a child at heart with great little nuggets to add to the community from his experience and passions. He’s a very talented graffiti artist and break dancer, and I’ve learned about a side of culture, that I never would have known had he not been my housemate.

In the center is Matt! Matt is from “The Carolinas” as he puts it. He’s been everywhere man. He spent a year as a volunteer in Tanzania and has used what he learned there throughout this year, as he helps refugees get settled into a new home. He has very strong leadership qualities and whenever no one else will step up, we can always count on him.

This picture was taken during our last retreat, to Breckenridge. Good times! We had a week of relaxation and our own private hot tub!! I love these guys and look forward to these next 4 months so much. Ready for this weather to get warmer and brighter so we can get ourselves into more outdoor activities!